I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
