Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
