I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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