Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
