I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
