I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
