can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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