is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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