You're so nebulous sometimes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
