Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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