Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
