very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
