I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
