come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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