I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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