Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
