jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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