is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
