i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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