You really coming over, don't trick.
I intend to get homeless drunk
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
