I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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