Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
