i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
