I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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