I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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