My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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