Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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