Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
