u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize