chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
