I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
