Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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