why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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