Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
