idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
