Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
