I bet he comes in French.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
