I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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