I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
