Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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