im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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