Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
