Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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