you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
