I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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