at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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