I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
