Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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