Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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