I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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