just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
