The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
