No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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