I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
