ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
