If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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