YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
