I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
