M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the day after is always just damage control
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
