I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
