google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
