I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize