I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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